yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
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