so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
