you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
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