I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
