Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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