I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
