What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
