He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
