bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
