Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
