yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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