I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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