Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
