i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Randomize
