hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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