Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
