He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Randomize
