"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
When did angry sex become our thing?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
