Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I seem to have left my pride at pride
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
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