The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
It was confusing and full of hummus
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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