I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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