Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
