It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
