Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
