Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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