my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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