I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Randomize
