It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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