Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
