I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
