My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
