He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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