They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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