How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
