so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
