Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
