What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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