In the future we'll all be gay
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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