I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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