We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
