Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
