i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
