I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
