just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
