dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
