it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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