He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
