i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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