I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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