It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Randomize
