i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
