He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
