found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i was born a porn star she said
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
